[Fanfiction] INTIMACY - Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Clara arrived at the hospital and they pointed her where Cadu was. She found him with Doctor Silvia, who had her hand caressing his shoulder saying that he had to be more careful, as he smiled shyly at her. Clara found that scene somewhat too intimate for a doctor-patient relationship, but she would think about that later.

- I keep telling him this, Silvia, every day.. Cadu, what happened? – She walked towards him.

- I’m glad you came, Clara. - The doctor greeted her. - So we can talk together, the three of us.

- I would have come earlier – She turned to Cadu - if you had let them call me, right Cadu?

- It was nothing, Clara.

- Nothing, Cadu? We’re talking about your health here. You see, doctor Silvia? He is impossible. But what happened this time?

- We performed another EKG. Cadu had an episode of arrhythmia, leading to syncope, fainting. That actually is an expected complication of your case, the dilated cardiomyopathy. Ventricular hypertrophy affects the electric complex of the heart, which coordinates the heartbeat. Adding the loss of rhythm to a decreased heart function, it lacked oxygen flow to your brain leading to fainting. I'll prescribe you antiarrhythmic drugs, Cadu. But you need to take this more seriously. Your condition is chronic, chronic diseases can be controlled, but you need to put an effort on this, you need to change your habits, or complications like this won’t stop coming.

Clara listened quietly taking all the information about the new medicines. She knew it was all Cadu’s fault. He didn’t care, he didn’t change his life, he didn’t pay attention to the schedule of his meds. That wasn’t an easy thing to do, of course, but he has to understand that there’s no other option.

They went home.

- Cadu, come here. We need to talk.

- Oh no, Clara. A yelling per day is enough, I got the message.

- No, it is not Cadu. – She did her best to keep calm. - No it's not, because you don’t understand, man. You heard her, you are not stable because you don’t care. Do you want to lose your heart?

- Clara, this is difficult for me, dammit! It’s not your life that is changing all of sudden.

- Cadu, you're no child anymore. Your life is changing. Face that. Accept it. No point in throwing a tantrum because that won’t take you anywhere. Except it might. God forbid. – She did the cross sign. - Cadu, for God's sake, watch yourself. You have to take the vasodilator, the diuretics, this new drug from today, you have to drink less liquid, you have to be careful. You should know that by now. I'm not your mother to be keeping tabs on you all day. And you're not a child, you’re a man. Open your eyes. Take care of yourself, because you have a whole life ahead and you have a son. Think about Ivan. It’s about time you become more responsible with everything. Start with yourself.

Cadu heard everything, worried and angry.

- Dad? - Ivan had just come home with Helena. - Are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, kid. I will be okay. – He messed Ivan’s hair.

Ivan hugged his father tightly, what made Cadu remember Clara’s words. "You have a son. Think about Ivan."

It was late. After taking his medications, Cadu fell deeply asleep. Clara looked at him in bed, sighing.

- Tomorrow, Cadu. You won’t escape me tomorrow.

She looked up and thought of Marina.

- Good night, my love.

Marina woke up thinking about Clara, as usual. She’s always thinking of her after all. During breakfast, she felt her cell phone vibrating in her pocket and hurried to check it, imagining it was her.

"I can’t go this morning. Sorry again for that day. But I will be there on the afternoon. Wait for me!" She sent her a text message, which only left Marina worried. She ran her hands on her hair thinking about what could have happened and once again she was upset that Clara hadn’t explained anything.

- What’s that frown about? - Vanessa asked.

- Clara. She’ll be late, but she didn’t say why or anything.

- Don’t be so sad. – She rubbed her back. – She’ll come around, she always does, doesn’t she? - Marina took her hand smiling and thanking her silently.

Clara texted Helena asking her to take Ivan to school. During breakfast, Cadu came up with an idea.

- Well, Clara. I've been thinking and I have an idea. And I think that's the best thing to do. – He talked while eating.

- About what, Cadu?

- I think you should quit the studio and come help me with the bistro.

- Excuse me? What, why?

- Well, because we're going from strength to strength, and you are my wife, the right thing for you is to stay in the family business. Everything's going right now, and as I’ll need help because of this disease, you working on that studio makes no sense at all.

- Wait, Cadu? What do you mean ‘it makes no sense’? Of course it does. I love that studio, it's my job and I won’t quit it. Marina supported me when I needed the most. Isn’t Nando helping you already?

- Yeah, but, Clara ...

- Cadu, that’s not open to discussion then.

The bell rang. It was Helena.

- Besides, I have something more important to talk to you.   Ivan, dear. Aunt Helena will take you to school today so I can talk to your dad, okay? – She helped him with his backpack. Ivan left with that sad face knowing that his parents were going to argue again.

Cadu scowled. - More Important? And that you can’t say in front of our son? And right now, what could be more important?

- What could be more important? – She laughed. - Of course. What could be more important than your restaurant? Your health, Cadu, for instance. Us!

- What about us? - He spoke in a serious tone, dropping his coffee and leaning against the chair crossing his arms, his mind already thinking about Marina.

Clara sighed. When she married Cadu, she had never imagined that one day she would have this conversation with him.

- There isn’t an easy way to do this. - She spoke slowly, rubbing her hands nervously. - So I'll just say it. Cadu, I… I want a divorce.

- You what?? – He was actually surprised, feeling a huge weight on his chest. – I can’t believe this, Clara. – He stood up, talking loudly. - All this...

- Lower, this conversation is not for the entire building to listen.

- Listen to what? That you're abandoning your family, your sick husband, for a slut dyke?? – He was exasperated.

- First, I'm not abandoning my family. Ivan is my son and I will never abandon him. I'm leaving my husband, you, Cadu. I divorce from you, not from my family. Second, I will not allow you to talk about Marina that way. Not in front of me.

- Of course, your beloved Marina. – He said ironically.

- And it's not for her. It’s for me. She makes me happy and I want to allow myself to live this happiness.

- Allow yourself? – He laughed. – You mean to say that you haven’t been already cheating on me ever since this woman showed up in our lives?

- No, I haven’t. I respect you, Cadu. You are still my husband and we’ve been together for 10 years. But now I don’t want it anymore, and I need to be clear with you. We kissed, yes. More than once.

Cadu looked at her disgusted, gaping.

- But we never took it further. Not before I talked to you first.

Cadu laughed sarcastically.

- Cadu, I will never abandon you either. I just don’t want to be your wife anymore, but before that, we were friends, man. You have been my friend for over 10 years. And we can try to continue being friends. Also, your condition is not stable because you don’t try harder! You are able to get through this without surgery, without a more aggressive treatment. And I'll be by your side for whatever you need, but I won’t be your wife anymore.

- I won’t let you do this, Clara. You can’t. Everything was fine before her ...

- No, it was not. It wasn’t fine. – She said emphatically. - I just didn’t know I could try to be happy again before her.

- Try to be happy again? Your family doesn’t make you happy, Clara?

- Of course it does. You made me happy for a long time... but... I fell in love, Cadu. It happens.

- You fell in love? Love? Is that how you call this naughtiness??

- Naughtiness, Carlos Eduardo? So just because we are two women, there can’t be love? It’s just naughtiness? – She said irritated, and then forced herself to calm down.  – Don’t do this, Cadu.

- You don’t do this, Clara. You're ruining our family, our marriage! – He slammed his hand on the wall.

- No, Cadu. I'm not ruining anything. We were! By insisting on being together. Ivan complains about our fights all the time. This is the best way out. And you will never stop being my family, you’re Ivan’s father!

- Yes, I am. Remember that. Because I won’t let my son be raised in .. this .. – he gestured towards Clara. - This joke of yours.

Clara took his hand.

- Don’t do this, Cadu. – She started crying. - I know you're angry, I don’t expect you to understand now. - Cadu scowled. - But please, let me live this chance. Don’t try to take my son away from me, you know me, you know I couldn’t bear that.

- She won’t make you happy.

- She already does. – She said softly.

Cadu looked at her incredulously.

- I know it's not the best time. – Her tears fell freely - Oh my God, Cadu. You don’t deserve to be going through so much at the same time, divorce and this heart condition. You don’t deserve all this. But I couldn’t stay with you just because you are sick. It wouldn’t be fair to me, it wouldn’t be fair to you. I can’t live a lie anymore.

- Our marriage is not a lie.

- Of course not. Our wedding was beautiful, but ... it’s over.

- You’re throwing our life away for an adventure? Is that right? What is it, Clara? The comfort that she can buy you? Pampering? Or is it my illness?

- It's love, Cadu! Love! - She shouted. - A kind of love that I don’t feel for you anymore. You know me, you know that it has nothing to do with the rest. – She calmed down.

- As you said, the bistro is doing great and you have conditions, I want you to leave home. I will not kick you out, you can use some time to find a place, of course.

Cadu looked at her furious.

- And, please, for all we've lived together, I beg you. Don’t talk with my family before me, nothing but the fact that you're leaving home. And don’t talk to Ivan about our divorce without me either. I want us both to do so, as adults, as his parents.

Clara hugged him tight, feeling his scent for the last time. It took a while, but Cadu hugged her back. - I never meant to hurt you. I still love you, so much. But not as my husband. Not anymore. – She backed away.

Cadu left the house slamming the door. And Clara cried.