Chapter 2 - Intense
Clara
The smell of her is on me. This shirt reminds me of the soft skin under my hands and it just gives me more desire to go back in time. Feels so good this sense of someone who just starts loving the first boyfriend. Girlfriend. I don't know. By someone.
Marina disappeared and I don't know why. Today completes the eighth day and I'm starting to get scared. What have I done wrong? Should not have declared me? Did she just wanted to kiss me, then ... No. If it was, she would have answered me. She would not have got away from me. She must be confused. Only I have no idea about the reason. Marina is the most decided person I met. Determined. For all things in life. If she wanted nothing more, she would not have given me this shirt with her scent. It's not the smell of the perfume or the soap that she uses, but it's her smell of it. The best smell of all.
- My love, don't you come to lunch? - Asked Cadu near the Clara's ear - Everybody is around the table just waiting for you.
- Shit. What a fright! Gee, don't do that anymore - Clara said slightly irritated rising from the chair she was.
- Sorry. It is because everyone is around the table and you're here... lost in thought.
Clara walked to the table and sat next to her niece, Luiza. All were talking cheerfully around the table in the home of Helena. They filled their plates and glasses while Clara tried to remember how to handle the spoon. Whenever she thought of Marina and the kiss that they had, Clara stood so, with the reasoning messy, out of order, out of breath.
- What a beautiful shirt, aunt! I loved it. - praised Luiza - Where did you buy?
Clara dropped the spoon that was in the rice cooker and left a good part falling on the table.
- I didn't buy it anywhere. I won it. - Clara replied trying to clean up the mess she had made.
- Hey, uncle! You have good taste in clothes, huh? - Said Luiza looking to Cadu.
- I didn't give it to her, no. She won from her little boss - Cadu replied bitter and ironic.
- She was not my "little boss". She was my boss - Clara scolded, grimacing at her husband.
- Why "she was"? - the husband retorted - Did she blew you off when she saw you didn't want to give her what she expected, right? - Cadu laughed together with Nando. While Virgil, Helena and Chica looked at each other blankly.
Clara exploded.
- Stop saying that about Marina, damn! You only see this side of her. You don't see that she is a wonderful human being and has a heart the size of the world. And yes, she's gay. And that's just a detail of her. But you insist on referring to her with debauchery. I'd rather you not touch the name of Marina if to make that kind of comment. Excuse me.
- Daughter, sit here. Don't get worry - Chica asked for.
- Daughter, sit here. Don't get worry - Chica asked for.
- No, I ... I lost the hunger - said Clara killing Cadu with the eyes and throwing her napkin on the table.
***
Talking about Marina had become somewhat painful in recent days and listen Cadu talking that way just made that flame in her chest rise.
Already in her apartment Clara tried to hold back tears, but failed. They were already saved for days and needed to be released.
She felt a little dizzy that was probably on the verge of a crisis of hypoglycemia. And, to make matters worse, she had lost the hunger. She took only a glass of water when she passed through the kitchen.
Clara took off her shirt and put it on the pillow. She hugged it and tried to fall asleep when she heard a knock at the door.
- Aunt? I'm coming in.
Luiza placed a plate on the table and went to the bedroom of Clara. Before entering the room's niece, Clara grabbed the shirt and dressed it again. She ran to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face.
- I came to know how you are - Luiza said sitting on the bed.
- I'm fine. Why I would not be?
- Your shirt, aunt ... it's inside out.
Clara looked down, looked at Luiza and laughed.
- Let's talk? - The niece asked, holding the Clara's hand.
Clara pondered the question. Luiza was no longer a child. She had an enviable maturity. She was reliable and Clara knew that one of her greatest qualities was to be a great "secret box".
- It is not easy for your auntie here, you know? - Said Clara approaching Luiza - Give me a hug?
Luiza smiled as if to say "and need to ask?". Her aunt snuggled in her arms and kissed the top of her head.
- Ahhh, Lu ... It's a mess in here, you know? - Clara pointed to the distressed chest. - I don't know what to do.
- It's because of Marina? You and her... You two ...
Then, Clara vented. She told all that had happened since the day of exposure and added the recent incident of the kiss, remoteness and the anguish that dominated her heart.
- Aunt, what do you want? Are you ready to let Cadu and stay with Marina? Are you sure? Or is it just a fling? Because it's not cool you stay cheating my Uncle with Marina. If you want to stay with her, so does everything right, to not be suffering on either side.
- When we kissed, I..I ... I felt something here inside, a great thing. If I could touch it would have burned me because it was very strong, intense. And I saw it in her eyes. - Clara said with a fixed stare on empty - I saw that there was not only her desire for me, it was something else. But she was gone, Lu. Evaporated. She let me completely lost.
- Go after her, aunt! If she is who you want, don't let her escape. Maybe she's also feeling that "something" burn, but is frightened by what she saw that it's really passion. And from what you said she was very adventurous, so when the passion came she was frightened too. Gives the chance for you two. I love uncle Cadu, but some time down here I see that you two are not getting along very well, there is disagreement and this smile, aunt... I miss that your smile, smile of someone who is bursting with happiness. Smile of those who managed to find what was missing to feel complete.
Clara smiled as she bit her lip and hugged her niece kissing her shoulder repeated times.
- I brought to you food. It's on the table. I have to go. I have to finish a college job. Think of everything we talked about! Looking your happiness, aunt. Before the happiness gets away from you.
***
Talking about Marina had become somewhat painful in recent days and listen Cadu talking that way just made that flame in her chest rise.
Already in her apartment Clara tried to hold back tears, but failed. They were already saved for days and needed to be released.
She felt a little dizzy that was probably on the verge of a crisis of hypoglycemia. And, to make matters worse, she had lost the hunger. She took only a glass of water when she passed through the kitchen.
Clara took off her shirt and put it on the pillow. She hugged it and tried to fall asleep when she heard a knock at the door.
- Aunt? I'm coming in.
Luiza placed a plate on the table and went to the bedroom of Clara. Before entering the room's niece, Clara grabbed the shirt and dressed it again. She ran to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face.
- I came to know how you are - Luiza said sitting on the bed.
- I'm fine. Why I would not be?
- Your shirt, aunt ... it's inside out.
Clara looked down, looked at Luiza and laughed.
- Let's talk? - The niece asked, holding the Clara's hand.
Clara pondered the question. Luiza was no longer a child. She had an enviable maturity. She was reliable and Clara knew that one of her greatest qualities was to be a great "secret box".
- It is not easy for your auntie here, you know? - Said Clara approaching Luiza - Give me a hug?
Luiza smiled as if to say "and need to ask?". Her aunt snuggled in her arms and kissed the top of her head.
- Ahhh, Lu ... It's a mess in here, you know? - Clara pointed to the distressed chest. - I don't know what to do.
- It's because of Marina? You and her... You two ...
Then, Clara vented. She told all that had happened since the day of exposure and added the recent incident of the kiss, remoteness and the anguish that dominated her heart.
- Aunt, what do you want? Are you ready to let Cadu and stay with Marina? Are you sure? Or is it just a fling? Because it's not cool you stay cheating my Uncle with Marina. If you want to stay with her, so does everything right, to not be suffering on either side.
- When we kissed, I..I ... I felt something here inside, a great thing. If I could touch it would have burned me because it was very strong, intense. And I saw it in her eyes. - Clara said with a fixed stare on empty - I saw that there was not only her desire for me, it was something else. But she was gone, Lu. Evaporated. She let me completely lost.
- Go after her, aunt! If she is who you want, don't let her escape. Maybe she's also feeling that "something" burn, but is frightened by what she saw that it's really passion. And from what you said she was very adventurous, so when the passion came she was frightened too. Gives the chance for you two. I love uncle Cadu, but some time down here I see that you two are not getting along very well, there is disagreement and this smile, aunt... I miss that your smile, smile of someone who is bursting with happiness. Smile of those who managed to find what was missing to feel complete.
Clara smiled as she bit her lip and hugged her niece kissing her shoulder repeated times.
- I brought to you food. It's on the table. I have to go. I have to finish a college job. Think of everything we talked about! Looking your happiness, aunt. Before the happiness gets away from you.
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